A little Piece of Sunshine

My mom – the fighter

January 22, 2013

Darlene Owen – my beautiful mom

There will be times in your life when you must face unwelcome challenges…moments when you realize what lies ahead and it just takes your breath away. My mom recently faced such a moment when she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer this past December.

It’s amazing how resilient the human spirit can be. Upon hearing this news, we were all in quite a state of shock and disbelief. How could this happen to our beautiful mother? How is she possibly going to get through the next year of intense treatment? My mom, and all of us really, have been understandably very emotional during the past few weeks. We were devastated. Then, something amazing happened. My mom’s beautiful, positive, strong spirit emerged. She will not let cancer define her. She is going to fight.

Yes, she has a rough year or so ahead of her. Mom started her first round of chemotherapy today. Three separate chemo drugs were introduced into her body. The drugs are now coursing through her veins ready to kill all of the bad (and unfortunately, many of the good) cells in her body. This treatment will cause her hair to fall out quickly. It will cause extreme tiredness and possible nausea. It will make her body very weak. But, it is a necessary evil, because it will also (hopefully) shrink the 9 x 7.5 cm tumor that has invaded her breast. Yes, those are some of the things that breast cancer will do to my mom.

More importantly, here are the things that breast cancer will not do. Breast cancer will not diminish Mom’s positive outlook on life and her cheerful, easy-going demeanor. It will not shake her faith and belief in God, as these are the very things that will help her get through this. Breast cancer will never stop her laughter or wipe away her smile. It will not destroy her courage or fighting spirit. Breast cancer will not prevail.

But, it will change her. It will change us too. But, I believe most of the changes will be positive. We will be careful to not take anything for granted, allowing us to fully appreciate our lives and loved ones. We will have a renewed faith in God, as we are lifted in prayer by our family and friends. Our outlook on life and positive attitudes will undoubtedly be strengthened, as we look for ways to make this journey easier for my mom. Our relationships will be stronger and we will become even closer. Watching my mom go through treatment will be a constant reminder of the fragility of life, so we will spend more time with our loved ones. We will become more patient and kind, forgetting about petty, insignificant things. We will take notice of life and not let opportunities pass us by. We will free ourselves from worry, as we realize that it will do nothing to influence the outcome of our circumstances.

A life-altering diagnosis really makes you realize what’s important in life. My family is a very positive, close-knit group. Mom’s breast cancer will only serve to strengthen this bond and bring us even closer. We will use humor, as we always have, to help us get through the difficult times.

Mom’s diagnosis is also a reminder of the importance of early detection. Ladies, please get your mammograms and encourage loved ones to do the same. Be vigilant about self-breast exams and report anything suspicious to your doctor.

My mom is a strong woman. She always has been. She will face this challenge head-on. She will draw strength from her family and friends as she begins this battle. She will emerge from this stronger than every before, physically and emotionally. My mom is a fighter.

I love you Mom!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/darleneowen

Christy Burke

Christy is a freelance graphic designer, full-time mommy, positive thinker and part-time blogger.

Fighting fear with Faith

October 16, 2012

March 29th (my Birthday ) is a day that I have been celebrating for nearly 30 years. Okay, I’m so lying about how long but you get my point. It’s a time of year that I have always looked forward to. However, this past year that day was one of the scariest moments of my life. On March 29th, 2012, we found out that my husband, Anthony, was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Diagnosing it is not that simple though. The only real way to find out if it is indeed Cancer is to remove the affected testicle.

I’m sure it’s easy to imagine how hard that must have been on my husband to go through such a loss. The blow to the ego, the uncertainty of how this will affect having more children, what types of treatment will be necessary ….. these were all the many things my husband wrestled with on a daily basis. For me, it was a matter of how to stay strong and hopeful for my husband and for our children.

Mind you that our son, 4 months old at the time, had no clue what was going on but there was this decision to be made about whether or not to tell our girl, Allie. Ultimately we decided against telling her the severity or even using the word Cancer. Since testicular cancer has such a great cure rate, we didn’t see the point in causing her to fear for her father especially since Allie had lost an Aunt to Cancer and was very aware of how serious that disease can be.

As soon as we were told that he would be cured of this, I decided to put 100% faith in GOD and in the words of the doctor. Sure there was talk about how this could come back through the abdomen and how radiation would be our best approach to fight that possibility. For the both of us, we so no other option then to move forward and to look to the days when this would be behind us.

I never saw Anthony worry at all about any of it. He was more in disbelief that he had Cancer. He would say, “I can’t believe I have Cancer…..in my ball!” Okay folks, we had to have some fun with this and when Anthony announced to the Facebook community that he had testicular cancer and that all would be fine……the punch lines started to roll in. Names like “Uniballer” and One ball Wonder” were just a couple of the long list of hilarity that started to poor in. The laughter was so good for the soul but the prayers for Anthony were our saving grace. You see I think it was at that time that Anthony came to grips of what lied ahead for him and the situation became real. Manageable, but emotionally real.

I thought I was handling it pretty well until one day in the shower, I was overwhelmed with doom. Thoughts of my husband ill, dying, raising my child alone, losing custody of Allie……every possible fear piled one on top of the other until the weight was too much to bear and I crumbled. I was brought back to reality when through the baby monitor I could hear the sounds of my son waking from his nap. There is no faster way to bounce back from sadness then to look into the face of your sweet baby.

No matter what you are facing in your life, know that it can be beat if and only if you have faith. It’s impossible to think you will never fear, but never allow it to take center stage in your life. Never allow it to take control of your situations while you desperately try to work your way around it. CONFIDE. Talk to someone who has faced what you are up against because its nice to know that others have been where we are. For us, our faith in GOD was the light at the end of the tunnel and the journey was a bumpy road filled with numerous attempts by darker forces trying hard to turn us into a mess……We refused to surrender to anything but GOD and we put it all in his hands. Yesterday was 6 months since Anthony’s diagnosus and he is Cancer free. Praise GOD!

Dani Sharpy

Social Media fanatic, Suburban CEO and part-time blogger

Now is YOUR time!

October 4, 2012

There may be a time in your life when you feel like crawling into a hole and never coming out. Now is not that time. You may feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and all you want to do is crumble to the ground and roll up into a little ball. Now is not that time. There will be a time when you feel like giving up or giving in, a time when you feel there is no fight left within you. I can assure you, now is not that time.

You cannot afford to sit back and let life happen to you. Take control and make things happen. It’s up to you. Now is the time for you to say, “It’s all or nothing!” And you will give it everything you got, because you’ve got a lot at stake. Now is the time to surge ahead and create the life you want.

Surround yourself with people intent on building you up. Let go of anyone who wants to tear you down. You are worth so much more than that. Now is the time to lean on your friends and family and find strength and inspiration in all of those who hold you up, as they will not allow you to fall down. Now is the time to empower yourself and realize how strong you are!

Don’t be afraid of changes. There will be many times when things do not go as planned. You can either sit back and feel defeated or create a new plan. You have the power to control your reactions and create the life that you want. Now is the time to embrace change and welcome new beginnings, as you carve out a new journey for yourself.

You are an amazing person. Believe it and your options will be limitless. Now is the time to be YOU and all that you are meant to be! Now is the time to defy the odds, take a risk and dive right in. Your greatest successes will be realized when you are not afraid to fail.

We all have weaknesses, but our strengths are where our passions lie. Exploring these strengths will open up a world of possibilities you never knew existed. Now is the time to recognize your strengths and build on them, for it is then that you will truly shine, becoming the person you are meant to be.

Yes, your time is now! Whatever you’ve been putting off…do it now. Crawl out of that hole. Get up off the ground. Whatever you do, never ever give up. Now is YOUR time!

Christy Burke

Christy is a freelance graphic designer, full-time mommy, positive thinker and part-time blogger.

As you were…

August 21, 2012

Can you believe it? Another summer is gone and the kids are back in school. After spending weeks and months keeping the kids occupied with summer camps, family vacations and getting them ready to go back to school, it’s extremely easy to neglect things we need to do for ourselves.

I lost all sense of structure this summer. After having both sisters come to visit us, Heading north to have the wedding we were not able to have when we married each other 2 years ago, packing our home and moving 45 minutes south, trying to put the new house together (we are still living out of boxes), I felt overwhelmed since ther seemed to be no sense of routine. On a side note I want to say that as crazy as things may have seemed, how amazingly blessed by GOD we have been did not go lost in the midst of the pressure.

Are you a creature of habit who got lost in the middle of summers unpredictability? Have you lost track of the rituals that kept you grounded and focused?

This is an amazing time to realign yourself with the good habits you worked so hard to put in place. Remember when you stopped making excuses to finally started going for that morning bike ride or you finally put the car in drive and found yourself pulling up at the gym? Don’t let vacations and summer’s bliss interrupt those great efforts you worked so hard to accomplish. Consider how amazing you are going to feel when you slip right back into that healthy path you started to pave. What an amazing way to come off this breif recess by not allowing the dust to settle on those important steps you already started taking for yourself.

The reward is huge when you prove to yourself that you have the discipline to bounce back from life’s interruptions. Your challenge this week is to pick up where you left off and prove to yourself that you can. I think you’ll find that being able to do so this time around sets a serious tone of determination and happiness.

Dani Sharpy

Social Media fanatic, Suburban CEO and part-time blogger

I want more!

June 18, 2012

I have often set my sights on a future goal, thinking that once I hit this goal I will finally be happy. I will have arrived. Only, once I reach my destination, after the initial euphoria, I am often disappointed. I am not satisfied. I want more.

This would leave me feeling empty and often sad. What did I do wrong? When will I finally be satisfied with my life? Well, it took me many years to discover the answer and that is never, which, as it turns out, is a good thing. I want more. That’s the secret to a happy life, always wanting more, for yourself, for your children, for your family.

Don’t become complacent. I have learned that goals are the key. Goals should be set on a daily basis – long term and short term. However once these goals are reached, you are not finished. You must reevaluate and set more goals. You must constantly strive for a better life…keep wanting more.

That’s not to say that you shouldn’t be happy with your current state. Definitely live in the moment. Sit back and enjoy all that you have accomplished. Ponder everything that has brought you to this point in your life. But don’t get complacent. Don’t lose that hunger that drives you to push forward and seek more successes and experiences.

Life is about experiences and the journey, not the destination. Don’t think in terms of if only….If only we could buy a house, then I’d be really happy…If only we had more money, then I wouldn’t worry…If only I lost weight, everything would be perfect. Don’t make your happiness contingent on single events. You will be disappointed. You will be left wanting more. Instead, be happy with these accomplishments. Be proud of yourself, but think about the future, what your new goals in life are.

Don’t become complacent and satisfied with your life. Keep striving, keep wanting more. Reinvent yourself often. Try new things. Think outside the box. If you are not happy with where you ended up, realize that you can start again. This is not an ending, but a new beginning. Life gets really exciting when you think of all of the possibilites. If you weren’t able to achieve certain goals or some dreams just seem impossible, then start over. Set new goals. Keep dreaming. Keep moving forward. Don’t sit idly, letting life pass you by. Keep wanting more.

Christy Burke

Christy is a freelance graphic designer, full-time mommy, positive thinker and part-time blogger.

I’ve made up my mind.

June 1, 2012

To my little sister, Jessica….

I’ve made up my mind.

I took the steps necessary in making an important change in my life. In a moment of realization, I saw in my mind and spoke from my heart and a change took place.

I did not plan for the tough road ahead. I do not know how long I can expect these fleeting moments of fear to overwhelm me. I do not know how strong I am but I’m learning, day by day.

I’ve made up my mind.

Regardless of how uncertain life may seem, I’m going to rely heavily on the things I am sure of. I’m going to let those who love me be there for me. I’m going to fold my hands and pray that the good Lord will fill my mind and heart with peace so that I can see this through.

I know that I will have moments of weakness but I also know that “I’m bigger than my body gives me credit for.” (Thank you Mr. Mayer) I’m going to trust my intuition and learn from this experience and remind myself that “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” (Thank you Ms. Clarkston)

I’ve made up my mind.

That what I seek, I will find. I will not allow my comfort to keep me complacent and under no circumstances will I settle for the familiar. I will live this life to the best of my ability always remembering that tough decisions will arise but they will not break me.

I’ve made up my mind…….and I deserve the reward for being true to myself.

Dani Sharpy

Social Media fanatic, Suburban CEO and part-time blogger

The balancing act

May 24, 2012

Perhaps we do not even recognize when we have reached a point where we cannot add one more thing to our plate. Ever feel that way? You just wake up one day and your mind is already consumed with what’s next. You find yourself lying there in bed with all these what if’s that you just need to get the day started and that’s when reality sets in. You roll over, check your phone or clock and discover It’s only 2am.

How do we keep it in check?

The first step needs to be recognizing if there are other areas in your life suffering from your inability to take on the entire world. I’m not talking about the type of things you sign yourself up for, I’m talking about life. The things you never see coming tied in with the things you can’t avoid and planning a wedding or buying a house sprinkled on top. In the midst of having to give each of these life stages some focus, how do you keep it together long enough to resemble sane?

Time for a check-up from the neck up.

I’ll be the first one to say that if therapy is necessary, Do it! It’s never a bad idea to have a safe unbiased place to sort things out. If you’re like me, and are unable to justify spending another penny at the moment you’ll need to take matters into your own hands and it requires a level of conscience responsibility.

You have to align yourself with the right methods of coping. A tall glass of wine is only going to get you so far. We have to become diligent in our efforts to turn it off.

Here are some suggestions…

MOVE! Go to the gym, walk the dog or walk with a friend. The dog is grateful for the exercise and the friend is eager for reciprocation.
Time Out! Just when you get to the point when you can feel the burden of the task hovering, that’s when you need to force the break. Step away from the computer, or whatever has you tied up and take a break. Grab a cup of coffee, a water…and force a 10 minute intermission. Whatever or however you decide to spend that time, just be sure you give yourself enough time to refresh and relax.
Wind down. It is nearly impossible to be running at full speed and then expect to be able to relax the next moment. Make it a point to put an end to the madness by a certain time every night. Give yourself at least an hour to mellow out and prepare the body for rest.
Get 8 hours. Most of us need 8 hours of sleep every night to be functional human beings. Do not set yourself up for failure by not planning a sufficient amount of time to shut off completely. REST solves everything. Sleep DEPRIVATION aggravates everything!

Taking steps to preserve the peace within will prevent life’s chaos from spilling over into every aspect of your life. That alone should be every motivation in tweaking your balancing act!

Dani Sharpy

Social Media fanatic, Suburban CEO and part-time blogger

Begin again…

May 14, 2012

We are often forced to make changes in our lives when it comes to relationships. It seems that more times then not, our relationships end with anger or hurt and very rarely because it was the healthy choice to make. We all want to be in the position of being able to make the right choices in choosing a partner and to be able to recognize when it no longer fits. But how?

What do you do when there is no pivotal moment that forces your hand into a decision? What if all you do is wake up one day and something feels wrong? What if it’s all sparked by a simple conversation and the next thing you know,…. you realize that this relationship has no future,…or at least not right now.

Our lives are filled with experiences that shape us and mold us into who we are to become. Who we date or spend time with along the way could very well be the right fit “for now.” Then again, we could find ourselves in a situation where the timing is wrong. If that’s the case, how do we know that if we move on, we will reunite with that person again?

My husband and I met when we were in high school at 16-17 years old. I had much growing to do to be the woman who would be able to take on a divorced man with a child. The woman I needed to be, the man he needed to be…we were not able to become by each others side that early in life. We needed the experiences that lied ahead for us. It’s so clear for me to see now that all the relationships that I had up until I met my husband were to prepare me for the man I would spend forever with.

I had to understand the heartache to appreciate the man who would cherish my heart. My relationships with men who had addictive personalities taught me a great deal about myself that I needed to learn in order to become a healthier individual and to tackle my own inadequacies. I had to experience a long distance romance before in order to prepare me for the inevitable out of state move that I would take when I finally met my husband. In hindsight, it all makes sense today.

We have all suffered the loss of a relationship and as much as it hurts we all know this one truth,….a day does come where the pain is gone. At the end of the dark tunnel, we see the light and we smile again. Time has a way of healing us and making us stronger. It reminds us when the present starts to look like our past and gives us the opportunity to make a change.

Trust your heart and call on life’s lessons to point you in the right direction. Have no fear, have faith and begin again.

Dani Sharpy

Social Media fanatic, Suburban CEO and part-time blogger

For Mother’s Day: A letter to my mother

May 10, 2012

On Mother’s Day, as we honor mothers everywhere, I find it appropriate to write an open letter to my mom:

Dear Mom,

As we were growing up, you might not have realized it then, but everything you did, every word spoken, every action taken, every gesture…we were taking it all in, soaking it all up like a sponge. And we, your children, might not have realized how important it would all become until we became young mothers and fathers ourselves. Everything you did served as an invaluable life lesson, shaping who we were, creating who we’ve become. You have taught us so much.

You taught us to love without restraint, never holding back and always letting us know how much we were loved. You taught us to give, even if you felt you didn’t have much left to give. You taught us the importance of time spent together as a family, which would prove invaluable, as we’ve often had to lean on one another over the years. You taught us to live by our values and morals, so that we could never be easily broken. You taught us the value of hard work and perseverance, an invaluable lesson when it comes to following your dreams and getting what you want out of life. You have shown us that our faith in God would be a guiding force and source of strength throughout our lives. You taught us that humor and laughter is sometimes the best medicine, never taking life too seriously. You taught us that failure and heartache are a necessary part of life, but that they should never define who you are as a person and only prove to make you stronger. You taught us that being a good parent does not mean you are perfect, it just means that you are always looking out for your family’s best interests.

All of these lessons, I had tucked neatly into the back of my mind as I was growing up. And now, as a mother to two little girls who are growing up way too fast, I hold steadfastly to every drop of what I soaked up from being in my mother’s presence. From time to time, as I make certain decisions or do something that seems all too familiar, I feel a sense of dejavu. And I breath deeply, realizing that I am beginning to sound just like my mother as these memories and lessons come flooding over me. And even now, I realize that the greatest compliment anyone could ever give me is to say that I remind them of my mother.

Sometimes I sit in amazement at this woman before me. She has endured so much, exhibited such strength. She is a woman of honorable character, so kind and giving, She always puts others first. She is a woman whose ultimate goal is the happiness of others, a woman who has made sacrifices, who worked hard to succeed, who often beat the odds, who has always made me laugh, who has taught me about love and nurturing. She is a woman who is crafty, creative, and talented beyond measure. She is a woman who believes in us more than she believes in herself. This woman who sits before me is a woman I’m proud to call my mother.

So, Mom, thank you for loving me, for believing in me, and for helping to shape who I am today, which has enabled me to become the mother I am today. I am proud to call you my mom and so blessed to call you my friend.

Happy Mother’s Day to the most beautiful woman I know. I love you!

Love,

Christy

Christy Burke

Christy is a freelance graphic designer, full-time mommy, positive thinker and part-time blogger.

Open up and let it out…

May 4, 2012

Sometimes, it would be all together easier to just give into the overwhelming mounting pressures of life and just cry it out. Last night, I let a few fall.

Its super easy for me to sit back and write article after article on how you should do everything you can to avoid giving into your problems. It’s easy for me to motivate and inspire you to do so because at heart, I’m a happy and grateful person. I see so much good in this life and find it’s often harder for me to commit to seeing the bad.

I’m just another woman in this world with a mounting heap of stress who does all she can to keep it in check. But every now and then, I let a few fall. Sometimes I just need to. It’s a whole lot better then stumbling along pretending that everything is just as it should be. I allow my self that quick release but giving in and hanging out there is never an option.

In those moments that I like to call my “spiritual cleanse,” I acknowledge my feelings, accept that I’m at a point of release and I cave. After a few minutes, I force myself to think of all I have to be grateful for and I smile.

Having a great support system in place for those moments is priceless. My husband knows how I roll and he lets me get it out and jumps in when I’m building myself back up. He offers his humor, his love and compassion. Just what this girls needs in those moments.

Don’t deny your feelings of sadness until you reach a point of numbness. Avoid holding it all in and learn to trust yourself to handle your emotions in a healthy manner.

If a healthy release is a new concept for you, then never be afraid to call in some back up like a friend, a counselor or a family member. Sharing doesn’t make us weak, in fact, it makes us strong. Strong enough to recognize the healing that comes from getting things off our minds and hearts.

Be brave and strong and remember that there is growth to be found in the challenges. Remember that even when the day feels too tough to handle, tomorrow presents an opportunity for happiness.

Dani Sharpy

Social Media fanatic, Suburban CEO and part-time blogger