I’ll never forget the Day I stopped seeing my mother through Childs eyes and realized for the first time, that she had a life before me. The sad truth is that I was 25 before it occurred to me that she had this history that I heard plenty of times over the years but back then it all just seemed like stories.
My Mother was my first best friend. You know how most children only tell their parent what they want to hear, or the abbreviated versions? My mom was not so lucky. Apart from feeling the need to ALWAYS tell on myself, I also graced my mother with the details that most, including my mother would rather have gone without knowing.
I went on this way until I turned 18 and inherited the knowledge and wisdom that far surpassed my parents’ intelligence. Or at least I thought. The years to follow were the gray areas of me and moms relationship simply because, I now had priorities that didn’t include having my mother as my confidant. I was dating, living, parting and my mother was praying. Always praying for me.
My mother, Denise Garcia, is a Catholic and a God loving, God fearing woman. My mother “KNOWS” her children well. Knew when we were hiding stuff. Had and still has an amazing ability to “sense” something is out of alignment just from us saying, “Hi Mom.” Because of her uncanny abilities, my mother was solely responsible for the numerous wet dreams I had from 18 until about 21. Oh WAIT! Wet dreams in our house was my mother throwing holy water on us while we slept. Sorry for leaving that to linger.
Looking back at the greatest bits of advice she gave me over the years, “Pray about it” had to be the best. Mind you, I hated it at the time because it had no real meaning to me. I was looking for answers, now and “Pray about it” felt like a waiting game. I was not ready then but today, I use that bit of advice in every aspect of my life.
As I celebrate my very first Mother’s Day as a first time Mom, I have a few words I’d like to share with my mother for helping me reach the point I am today:
When I look back on my youth, I remember a woman fighting hard for a quality family life for her children. I remember a woman of strength and determination to keep her family in one piece. You are a selfless woman who always put us first. When you so desperately could have afforded to buy yourself clothing, you were more concerned that we had what we needed to fit in. Not because we asked you to but because you never wanted us to feel left out. When I was going through my phobia at such a young age and would hitch a ride home after you just dropped me off at school, you would hold me and tell me it was all going to be alright. (Let’s forget me locking you out of the car in your nightgown cause that isn’t the affect I’m going for.)
When my heart was breaking over and over you always did your best to let me know that you were there for me no matter how much I would push you away. Every time I would audition for some big deal singing contest but not make it as far as we might have thought I should have, you always took the defeat harder than me simply because you always felt I was so deserving. There was no doubt in my mind that you thought I was talented. You supported me in my career efforts and gave me the swift kick in the ass when it was needed.
You raised me to be respectful and compassionate and to never allow someone to not cash my check because I am Mexican (excellent story for another day). The pride you placed on our heritage even if you always placed the 25% Sicilian over the 50% Mexican, has stayed with me until this very day. I still don’t want to play with kids if they aren’t Mexican! Oh Wait….that wasn’t me, that was Jess!
You taught me to love…..to be an amazing wife (Anthony thanks you for that.) What you did for me that means more than anything, Mom, is you raised me with a belief system. You gave me GOD and with that your prayers protected me in times when it was clear that the only reason I got through was because of GOD. The morals that you instilled, although I deviated from them from time to time…..I never did so without remorse. I thank you for being the best damn Mom and for molding me into the mother I am today.
Happy Mother’s Day, Denise Garcia. I Love you. I always have and I always will.